023 | Just this. Enough as.

Embracing nothingness.

Nov 8, 2021

This is what is

It’s almost the two-year anniversary of my newsletter Beginner’s Mind and as I reflect on the past two years that I’ve spent writing it, the messy and non-linear process has not subsided — rather, I like to think that I’ve befriended it and have gotten more comfortable with curating my thoughts.

You see, for me, the thing about writing is that it really encourages me to communicate the chatter that goes on in my mind in a way that hopefully presents itself as coherent. What originally started as a publication about design and mindfulness, has evolved into something more holistic, something that I’d like to refer to as the art of seeing.

Fundamentally, there’s no distinction between the things that move me — design, writing, music, mindfulness, creativity, meditation, martial arts, relationships, etc. It is all one and the same. This newsletter helps me integrate those parts and inspires me to share things with you. Thank you for providing me the space to do so. This newsletter in a way has heightened my vigilance of things.

I look forward to continuing to see where this newsletter takes us, both you and me. Perhaps the next issue will commemorate the two-year anniversary.

إن شاء الله

At the moment, two of my photographs are up for auction on behalf of the Zen Life & Meditation Center. If you feel inclined, you may place your bid here.

All proceeds will go to supporting ZLMC’s mission to empower others to live a Zen-inspired life of openness, empathy, and clarity.

Here

I’ve been reflecting on the word liminality. It represents the space that is in-between, the transition, the threshold — a place of not-knowing, a rendezvous — not hear nor there.

You can think of liminality as being in a long line waiting for a donut or waiting to hear some news. It’s a gap that is between this and that. Your flight gets delayed by twelve hours and you find yourself lugging your luggage around an airport — that is liminality.

It is easy to ignore liminality and fill the spaces that we inhabit with mindlessness. For example, sometimes after exercising, my body aches and is sore. Or after a long session of sitting in front of my computer, my shoulders ache and my neck stiffens.

But if I listen to music, watch TV, or scroll on my Instagram, I don’t have to pay attention to what my body is telling me. It’s telling me that I need to rest and relax. The ache takes place in the liminal space between what I am doing now and what I will be doing next. But it’s easy and convenient to default to ignoring the discomfort.

As I think about liminality, I think about what it means to have a beginner’s mind and I find that they both run parallel. It means to have an attitude of wonder, openness, and enthusiasm to explore what is here right now in front of us, which is sometimes the delayed flight, bad news, or aching body. This is what it means to be present and mindful.

But often, we find ourselves looking for meaning or chasing after ecstasy while being undoubtedly ignorant to what is here.

Life is what happens to you
While you're busy making other plans
— Beautiful Boy, John Lennon

A poster in response to the hunting of elephants. By Christian Solorzano 2021

Facing reality

As I embark on creative projects, occasionally I find myself at the crossroads of thinking that there’s something out there to attain and prove. Thinking that inspiration is over the horizon and I must make the trek to grasp a fictional holy grail. But that never happens — I always end up returning here, to the blank canvas or blinking cursor.

Foolishly stumbling in the darkness, drunk on ambition, clinging to something that isn’t, I catch sight of my reflection and like a flash of lighting, I am once again grounded in this very moment. The silence.

I look around and not much has changed. I am still at my desk. The ink of my pen is still blue, my cup is still white, and I am still breathing. Sooner or later, when the lights go out and the noise subsides, we’re inevitably alone. We return to where we’ve always been — with whatever mess exists.

Embracing the totality of life is about honesty and vulnerability. It’s about holding ourselves accountable to face the repulsive and tainted. It isn’t about fictional narratives or victim mentality. It isn’t about that, rather about this.

As you drink your water you drink your water and taste your water. You sit in the company of somebody and you sit with them.

There’s no glamour here, no magic, pixie dust, or magic bell. No vibes. Nothing. Just this big pile of dust that we gotta live with. No magic word, no abracadabara. Nothing to read into. No stars to consult. No pre-requisites.

Just the facts of life.

A poem

no different than

fanny-packed jessica
or
bug-eyed rachel
or
a big-balled pimp
or
hot candy

no different than

buck-toothed sam
or
bruised billy
or
melanoma randy
or
horse-mouth saturn
no different than

a frog in a basket
— Written by Christian Solorzano, November 2021

Beginner’s Mind | A Playlist

If you follow the Beginner’s Mind playlist below on Spotify, every issue, it’ll be updated with new music. I’ve also added the titles of the songs below.

This month’s playlist kicks off with one of my favorite songs ever! “Hello Hooray” was sung originally by Judy Collins and later by Alice Cooper. I’ve included both versions sequentially.

Hello Hooray Judy Collins
Hello Hooray Alice Cooper
Coat Of Many Colors Emmylou Harris
We’re A Happy Family Ramones
In Every Dream Home A Heartache Roxy Music
The Jeep Song The Dresden Dolls
Piss Factory Patti Smith
How Does It Make You Feel? Air
Wild Is The Wind David Bowie
After Hours The Velvet Underground

Beginner’s Mind